Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Reconcile a Marriage Relationship, Self Help

Created by Phil Scoville on June 25, 2005 Down...Image via WikipediaThere is no question that marriage is filled with its fair share of ups and downs. If there are too many downs, then it can start to take its toll on your marriage. Even strong relationships can find it difficult to withstand too much negativity. Fortunately, there are some things you can start doing right away to help reconcile your marriage relationship.

You need to be completely honest as you work on improving your marriage. You have to be honest with your spouse, and you need to be honest with yourself.

It's also important to realize the fact that the healing process is going to take time, work and a commitment from you and your spouse. It takes two to tango. You do want your marriage to get better, right? Then this effort will be well worth it.

Been arguing a lot? That's a sign your communication skills need some improvement. However, arguing in and of itself is a form of communication and that means there is still hope. The real trouble starts when you won't even attempt to talk to each other, because that's a sign you have given up.

The biggest part of effective communication is learning how to listen. Listening is an active process that takes practice. Focus on what your spouse is saying and then make sure you understand it before responding. You need to give your undivided attention to the other person, that means you shouldn't be thinking about what you'll say when it's your turn.

Honesty and communication are only part of how to help save your marriage, you should also find out what the real problem is and then be willing to confront it. This can be somewhat tricky as people have a tendency to confuse symptoms for the causes of the symptoms. For example, losing your temper is most likely a symptom for a deeper problem. Keep digging until you get to the causes of the problem in your marriage, even if it requires professional help.

Once you know the root of the problem you can work on fixing it, one problem at a time. You can't solve it by yourself, so get your spouse involve in finding a solution. Things should go pretty smooth as long as you are honest and have honed your communication skills.

If, despite your best efforts, the two of you are not able to patch things up on your own, then going to see a counselor is a smart choice. Some people don't like the idea of seeing a counselor, but if you are serious about staying together, then a counselor can help fix your marriage.

Divorce is not a solution to your problems. Doing whatever you can to help reconcile your troubled marriage will only serve to make you happier in the long run. The vast majority of marriages can be saved, and yours is no exception, but it's up to you to make it happen.

Discover 5 ways to fix your broken relationship and 5 steps that prevent divorce

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Sunday, November 7, 2010

5 Ways to Reconcile a Broken Relationship

reconcile a love relationshipLove ? I love love love you. (Photo credit: @Doug88888)Bookmark and Share

Prove You Still Love Your Partner

There are several ways to express love to your partner other than saying the words "I Love You." Let's be realistic, the passion in a relationship does die down after a while. The heart pounding feeling and excitement of being with your significant other is not felt as often, if at all.

So the question is, "How do we get back the love, passion and affectionate feeling that enveloped us at the beginning of the relationship?"

It is a known fact that actions speak louder than words so below I have listed 5 ways to help you reconcile a fractured relationship and show your partner how much you really do love them:
  • Negotiate a compromise;  If there is an unresolved conflict or one of you is holding a grudge, compromise. The focus should be on finding the middle ground where both you and your partner can agree instead of who is right.
  • Flirt with each other;  This is light-hearten seduction with the intent of conveying love! Why not send a sexy text message or email while you are at work? This reminds the other person that you are thinking about him or her. Remind them that they are a wonderful mate. This also increases the intensity of love so that you actually look forward to seeing each other when you return home from work. 
  • Be a kid again;  There is no reason why couples at any age can't get into tickling matches. Accept that it is okay to be silly from time to time. Play games with your partner whether it be board games, video games or card games. Get naked and play twister, don't forget the baby oil! Okay, maybe that's a bit extream but the point is to bring down the wall between you and your partner.
  • Take up a hobby that you both can enjoy;  This is a good way to make your relationship stronger while adding in something fun. 
  • Express your love with words;  Surprise your lover with little notes found in unexpected places using those little sticky notes. Be creative and have some fun with this.
Give these five methods above a try and show your partner how much you truly love him/her. If you think it will take more than these 5 methods to reconcile your relationship, than you should consider this self help guide... help for broken marriage.

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Sunday, March 7, 2010

Rebuild a Broken Relationship

how to prevent divorceIllustration signed by C[yrus] Fosmire which appeared in McClures Magazine with The Griswold Divorce Case by Frederic Taber Cooper, representing a hearing before a divorce referee held in a law office as part of the proceeding for a Divorce in New York City, circa 1900. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
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5 Essential Steps on How to Prevent a Divorce

With divorce rates rising on what appears to be a daily basis, it is no surprise that people are wondering how to prevent a divorce. The good news is that it can be done, it is relatively easy when you put these five steps into action. Often the road to a divorce starts with one or the other partner having a "me attitude". When "B attitudes" are necessary for us to live with one another.

Make Time for Each Other

Your relationship will not survive unless you find time for each other and do this regularly. This doesn't mean throwing the odd comment at one another over the dinner table when the kids are fighting but actually making an effort to communicate. Put the kids to bed, switch the TV or computer off and sit down and have a chat. Talk about your day, your feelings and any issues that are worrying you. When keeping the lines of communication open, in all likelihood you will have less disagreements and misunderstandings over trivial things. Yes indeed, you will still fight once in a while but that is entirely natural. The best part about the fighting is the making up session afterwords.

Show Respect for One Another

It really doesn't matter how long you've been together always demonstrate respect for your spouse. Give them plenty of time for themselves. Don't expect to occupy their every waking moment. There will be times when your partner is going through a difficult time either because of work or personal problems that have nothing to do with your relationship. Be there for them at this time. This doesn't mean you have to solve the problem as that will not always be possible but if they know they have your support, it will help a great deal.

Never Slight Your Significant Other

You should never slight your partner not even in a moment of anger. When someone loves another person, they tend to open up to them and share weaknesses that they wouldn't share with anyone else. If that partner then uses this knowledge against them, the harm can be tremendous. So be careful and try to think before you act or open your mouth. If you do insult them, be quick to apologize and assure them you didn't intend for it to come out that way.

Show Appreciation

We are all guilty of taking things for granted including our health, our jobs and probably our mates. You should make a conscious effort to show your partner an expression of gratitude for their efforts. You know your spouse better that anyone, this also means that you understand how they like to be shown appreciation, so do it. For some people telling them verbally works while for others, they need gestures rather than just words. Taking time to complement your other half will increase your mutual appreciation and the bond between you making divorce less likely.

Last but Not Least, Show Forgiveness

Each and every one of us will mess up occasionally and rather than holding a grudge, why not practice forgiveness. You never know when you will make a big mistake and in time, you will want your spouse to return the favor. Nobody is perfect and you will have a more blissful marriage if you don't expect your mate to be.

Put into action these five prevent a divorce tips and you should never need a divorce lawyer!

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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Reconcile a Broken Marriage

reconcile broken marriageAllegory of Love, I: Infidelity (Photo credit: Wikipedia)Stop a Divorce After Cheating

There are many who want to know how to reconcile a broken marriage and stop a divorce, there are answers to this dilemma. Not all of them will apply to your particular situation. People get divorced for many reasons. One of the most common has to do with broken trust.

If the reason you are in this situation with your spouse is because you have been unfaithful, there are things that you should and shouldn't do to rebuild a broken relationship. If the cause of the problem is something you did, then don't just say you’ll change. Make the change. If you want to know how to reconcile a broken marriage, start with accepting responsibility.

Assure Your Spouse of Your Change

Listen, actions speak louder than words. If it was something that is a matter of trust, you have hurt your significant other, don't do it again. In fact don't do anything that will give your spouse any reason to question your faithfulness. If you want love and trust again, you must prove that you are worthy. It will take time and hopefully you have not betrayed their trust to the point where they can never trust you again. If you have broken trust, the truth is you don't deserve to be trusted. Sorry but this is a harsh reality that you can change for the better.

It's the efforts to be faithful that will assure your spouse that you are changing. Don't deny that you have betrayed their trust and don't try to justify it. Don't get mad because they don't trust you and don't argue about it. If you messed up, own up and take responsibility. Then you'll be able to start reconciliation.

There may be situations where the one you love has been guilty of breaking trust and has been guilty of infidelity. Think of how you might want them to give you a 2nd chance. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Try to understand why this happened. It may very well be there was some kind of need you were not providing which induced your partner’s infidelity.

Seek Professional Advice

Ask "how to rebuild a broken relationship" from sources that have been trained in how to deal with these situations. If your relationship is important to you at all, it's worth trying to find help. Do this before breaking up is the only option. Try to find the best relationship advice you can.

Be ready for depression, because of what both of you are going through. It isn't easy to deal with this, you may need some kind of therapy to help you cope and understand what is happening. Love relationships can be great but they can also bring a great deal of stress where broken trust is involved. If you want to know how to reconcile a broken marriage, seek as much help as possible. You don't have to do it alone.

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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

How to Reconcile a Broken Relationship

reconcile a broken relationship, howTania El Koury at Forest Fringe Weekender (Photo credit: TheArches)If love was once there then the possibility it’s still there may be real. You may not be able to turn back the clock or make the mistakes disappear but you can give that love another chance. If you have both been able to step back away from the mistake(s) and have been given enough time to breathe you may be able to come back together just to talk. You certainly don't want to rush right back into it.

Resolve the Issues

There were problems that interrupted the romance. You need to make sure that you are able to move past it and have any unresolved issues resolved. How can you think about starting where you left off when where you left off, was an ugly situation. Work through the problems, if you can't solve the problems. Your reunification will only be temporary.

The break up may have happened because of one event. It could have been because of that one behavior one of you couldn't handle the other doing. Whatever the problem you need to find out how to either accept or deal with the problem. Find out how to reconcile a broken relationship.

Share the Blame

If the issue was one cheating on the other that may be hard to overcome. Trust has been broken and getting that trust back will be difficult. Usually, cheating results from one partner’s lack of commitment to the other. So, the other cheats. Therefore, both partners are to blame. Overcoming the heartbreak of this is difficult and needs to be given some time and a reason to believe that there can be trust again. This is an area that marriage counseling or other type of couple's therapy can be helpful.

Is This the Right Thing To Do?

More than anything, if you want to know how to reconcile a broken relationship, you have to be confident that it is the right thing to do. Just ask yourself, is this the right thing to do? I suppose the right question to ask yourself is, do you love him/her.

How do you make sure you’re going to be better off with, than without them? There is no way of knowing. If you still love him/her than it’s worth taking the chance. Or if children are involved you must consider their best interest.

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